SuperMidguy

SuperMidguy is the algorithm-approved hero: not a genius, not an idiot, just aggressively average. He lives in a cookie-cutter house and takes it as a compliment. His religion is suburban precision: lawn striped to the millimeter, hedges trimmed like surgery, and a grill locked at 135°F “the right way.” He runs on ultra-processed, shelf-stable “food” and calls it “the best.” His superpower? An aura of normalcy that turns every crisis into “we’ll deal with it later.” When the world’s on fire, he says “Everything’s fine” and goes back to flipping meat.

Starting 02/20/26